Professional polo players Juan Bollini and Wesley Finlayson get a lot of attention from the ladies. When you’re young, good-looking athletes (and the faces of the U.S. Polo Assn. campaign) it’s only natural. We decided to ask these two “players” (see what we did there?) for a little dating advice. Here’s what they had to share:
1. Should you contact a guy you had a date with if you haven’t heard from him in a few days?
Wesley: This part is tricky. What did your gut tell you after the date? Did you feel a connection, or were YOU forcing the connection? If you believe that there was a strong connection and haven’t heard from him days after your date, then reach out, you have nothing to lose! Guys can be shy and insecure. Maybe he thought that you weren’t into it? So give him a shout and see what happens. If he doesn’t get back to you or seems uninterested when you reach out, let it go. Either way, it’s better to know right away. If he’s into it, great, and if he’s not, get back out there.
Juan: I think if you had a great time and you want to contact him, there should be nothing stopping you. If you’re comfortable doing it, I say go for it. Maybe not the next day (you don’t want to seem overeager), and you want to give him a little time to think more about you and how the date went. But I say, if it’s been a week and you haven’t heard anything from him, reach out…what do you have to lose? With so many distractions in our lives, nobody should waste their time on something that won’t be worth it…it’s simply not fair to you.
2. What’s the best way to approach something that makes you upset without seeming like the “crazy jealous girlfriend”?
Wesley: Honesty is the best policy here! A girl should confront her man and see what the real motive is for him texting her. Don’t panic and make your man feel like you don’t trust him because relationships are built around the trust you have for one another. Give your man a chance! If your guy is talking to his ex, it’s probably because they are still friends. Guys can have girls as friends but there is also a thin line here. Leveling with your guy is key. If he doesn’t understand your concern then you should ask him the real question. How would he feel if you were doing the same thing? If he seems defensive or uncomfortable in his response to you, then that’s probably an indication that something is off. If that’s the case, it’s time to go with your gut and move on.
Juan: As cheesy as it sounds, honesty is always the best policy. You should feel comfortable enough to talk to your partner about what it is that’s bothering you. If they can’t understand where you’re coming from, ask them to put themselves in your shoes…maybe it’s just not meant to be.
3. What do you like a girl to wear on a first date?
Wesley: This is a great question. Where are you going? Dinner? Dress the part; know the type of restaurant that he is taking you to in advance so that you dress the part. First dates are important first impressions, and guys can tell when a girl takes care of herself and we appreciate it!! If she looks sloppy, thrown together, or is wearing something too revealing, that could be your first (and maybe last impression). If you are going to baseball game (or for me, a polo match) don’t wear six-inch heels and a miniskirt. It might be great for a night out dancing but not for an afternoon game. Guys love when a girl is comfortable in her own skin, that’s when she shines, not when she is trying too hard. That’s the biggest turnoff.
Juan: I guess it depends on what type of date you’re going on. I would hope a girl would dress differently when going to the movies versus going out to dinner. But, I always think that it’s important to make an effort and dress for the occasion since first impressions are an extremely important part of a first date. I would suggest wearing something that shows you’re making an effort without trying too hard. Personally, I like it when a girl wears a dress. I mean, who doesn’t look good in a dress?
4. What’s a sure sign a guy is falling in love with you?
Wesley: When a guy wants to spend his days with you, see you all the time, and feels comfortable talking to you about anything! Another amazing sign is when a guy dotes on you and when he accepts you for you with all of your imperfections. Is he introducing you to his family and friends? Is he including you in his life and all the things he loves? If so, he is in love. If you feel the same, then return the love, which will only make your relationship stronger. If you aren’t feeling the same, and the relationship is moving too quickly for you, let him know, don’t take advantage of him. If its meant to be, it will be, at a pace that you are comfortable with.
Juan: Compliments, contact, and security. Basically, when he’s comfortable with you in his own skin, it’s a pretty good sign. When a guy is falling for a girl, he’s excited to see you and be with you, even if it means doing nothing together. Is he protective over you? Does he want to make sure you are OK? Is he attentive to your needs? Some girls may mistake being protective as being jealous, but that’s not always the case. When a guy protects you and wants to take care of you, take it as the highest form of a compliment and the biggest tell sign that he is in love.
Thanks to the U.S. Polo Assn. for lending us these fine gentleman! What did you think of their advice?
Photos: Courtesy of U.S. Polo Assn.